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En una taberna del viejo

En una taberna del viejo Oeste, se encontraba un vaquero bebiendo cuando un indio llega y dice:

“Tengo una historia que nunca has escuchado”.

El vaquero, curioso, responde:

“Cu�ntamela”.

“Iba yo por las monta�as en busca de caza, y de pronto encontr� un gran ciervo, saqu� mi arco, y pan. Le di en todo el tomax”.

Extra�ado, el vaquero pregunta:

“�Tomax? �Qu� tomax?”

“Un g�isqui”, se apresura a responder el indio.

El cowboy se siente estafado y comienza a cabrearse, pero el indio prosigue su historia mientras se acaba el whisky:

“Pero segu� m�s adelante, y en la pradera vi a un gran bisonte, raudo cog� mi arco y de certera flecha, le di en todo el bebex”.

“�Bebex? �Qu� bebex?”, pregunta la v�ctima.

“Otro g�isqui”, responde r�pido el indio.

Esto agota la paciencia del vaquero y le dispara, cayendo el indio al suelo muerto. El camarero que vio toda la escena le reclama muy preocupado al vaquero:

“�Pero qu� has hecho, era un indio de la tribu de los indios gorrones, y como vengan te vas a enterar!”

“No me dan miedo”, asegura valiente el vaquero.

Acto seguido lleg� la tribu de los indios gorrones al sal�n. Entonces uno de ellos habl�:

“�Qui�n ha sido el que ha matado a Toro Mangado?”

El cowboy levanta la mano y acepta:

“Yo”.

“�T� solo?”, pregunta el indio gorr�n.

“S�”.

“Pues nosotros con leche”, dicen a coro los dem�s indios.

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It’s hard to make a comeback when…

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

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An actual E-mail add

The Following is an actual e-mail I recieved the other day. I have removed the E-mail adresses for obvious reasons. I swear this is real

Subj: NICK DEWALL
Date: 12/12/2003 1:08:59 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: *****@*****.de
To: **********@***.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)

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Hi,

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Visit: http://www.netoffersforyou.biz/say.htm

Not interested in our news letter anymore?
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Russian Leaders

Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, the old bulb is just suffering from a cold.

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Steering Nuts?

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a
steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. “Hey,” he says, “What’s with
the steering wheel down your pants?”

“Ach,” says the Irish man, “it’s drivin’ me nuts!”

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Twinky!

your momma is so fat that she saw a bus go by and yelled, twinky!

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Ashley Ann FULLER an

My neighbor is a BLONDE! HEr name is Ashley Fuller! well my little sister was saying right before Christmas “Ashley, Do you belive in Santa Claus?” Ashley (14) said “Of course Megan, I do!” Then my little sister came home and told me what she found out… I then walked over to Ashley’s house and go “GIRL u r 14 how can u STILL belive in Santa????” she siad “well unlike your house Santa comes to my house every night.. I dont leave him MILk .. we crate white stuff!

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I have commited a sin

One day a burnette goes to a preacher and says, “I have commited a sin.”
Preacher: what was it.
Burnette: I stabbed a man to death.
Preacher: go drink some holy water and your sins will be forgiven.

Later a redhead goes to the preacher and says, “I have commited a sin.”
Preacher: what was it.
Redhead: I pushed a man of a cliff.
Preacher: go drink some holy water and your sins will be forgiven.

later a blonde goes to the preacher and says “I have commited a sin.”
preacher: what was it.
blonde: I peed in the holy water that they are drinking.

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Blondes

2 blondes walked into a bar

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Miscellaneous

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no idear.

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“The Megabrontothaurus Maximus was so large,…

“The Megabrontothaurus Maximus was so large, it’s shadow alone weighed
500 pounds”

from “Science Made Stupid”
by Tom Weller,
Published by Houghton Mifflin company

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Who Suffered?

Watching her mother as she tried on her new mink coat, the daughter protested, “Mom, do you realize some poor, dumb beast suffered so you could have that coat?”

Her mother glared back at her and said, “Don’t talk about your father that way!”

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