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Archive for the ‘one liners’ Category

The gene pool could use

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

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“I am dyslexic of Borg.

“I am dyslexic of Borg. Your ass will be laminated.”

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A collision at sea can

A collision at sea can ruin your entire day.

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Confusius say: He who smoke

Confusius say: He who smoke pot, choke on handle.

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Why isn’t there a tax on stuff I don’t like?…

Why isn’t there a tax on stuff I don’t like?

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A penny saved is ridiculous.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

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Be nice to your kids.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

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Sex is a misdemeanor…

Sex is a misdemeanor…

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Jackson vs Casper

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?

A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.

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. . . and

. . . and ties go to the winner.

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Money can’t buy you happiness,

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can take you a long way
from misery.

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Look out for #1. Don’t

Look out for #1. Don’t step in #2 either.

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