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Archive for the ‘business’ Category

Arnold’s Laws of Documentation:

Arnold’s Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn’t. (2) If it does exist, it’s out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.

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Free advice costs nothing until

Free advice costs nothing until you act upon it.

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If you are asked to

If you are asked to join a parade, don’t march behind the elephants.

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Science is always simple and

Science is always simple and always profound. It is only the half-truths that are dangerous.

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If at first you don’t

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

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Sanity and insanity overlap a

Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line.

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Begging on Wall Street

There are three beggars begging on Wall Street.

The first beggar wrote “Beggar” on his broken cup. He received $10.00 after one day.

The next day, the second beggar wrote “Beggar.com” on his cup. After one day, he received hundreds of thousands of dollars and an offer to float an IPO on NASDAQ.

The following day, the third beggar wrote “e-Beg” on his cup. Microsoft, IBM, and HP sent corporate vice-presidents to talk to him about strategic alliances and offered him free hardware consultancy. In addition, it was reported on CNBC that e-Beg uses 95% Oracle technology and that I2 announced the launch of BegTradeMatrix; a b2b industry portal offering supply chain integration in the beggar community.

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SNAFU Equations: 1) Given

SNAFU Equations: 1) Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns. 2) An object or bit of information most needed will be least available. 3) Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible. 4) Interchangeable devices won’t. 5) In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else. 6) Badness comes in waves.

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The value of a program

The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

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The solution to a problem

The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.

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For the past three years,

For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population.Now let’s just hope that the unemployment rate doesn’t change.

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Two neighbors were talking about

Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, “Say, why did the foreman fire you?”Replied the second, “Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.”

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