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Archive for the ‘quotes’ Category

Sayings you’d like to see on office inspirational posters

Sayings you’d like to see on office inspirational posters===============================================If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.If you think we’re a bad firm, you should see our rivals!Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings — they did it by killing all those who opposed them.A person who smiles in the face of adversity… probably has a scapegoat.ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE…..2 days without a Human Rights Violation!If at first you don’t succeed – try management.Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.Never quit until you have another job.Work harder you slaves!The beatings will continue until morale improves.If you can read this, you’re not working!Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!Go the extra mile – It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.Pride, commitment, teamwork – words we use to get you to work for free.Succeed in spite of management.Work: It isn’t just for sleeping anymore.There are two kinds of people in life… people who like their jobs and people who don’t work here anymore.Department of Defense: we kill people – so you don’t have to!

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The man who fears no truths has nothing to…

The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies.

– Thomas Jefferson

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Life and Shaving

Living your life is like shaving…no matter how well you do it today, you
still gotta do it tomorrow.

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Put it back in the horse!…

Put it back in the horse!

– H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the ’30s-’50s,
after he drank his first American beer at a bar.

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Thought of the day!

Now matter how you jump or dance, A few drops will always go down your
pants.

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“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching…

“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.”
– Paul Rodriguez

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I think baseball would be a much more interesting sport if batters had to use their arms instead of

Alan Smithee

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I think a really funny joke would be for NASA to send up rockets and push a bunch of planets out of

Dave James

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“Get your facts first, and then you can distort…

“Get your facts first,
and then you can distort them as much as you please.”

– Mark Twain

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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s…

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other.

– J. Handy

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“Sometimes I think astronauts are the luckiest…

“Sometimes I think astronauts are the luckiest people on earth, but only
when they’re in space.”

– Alan Smithee

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“Sometimes when I’m sitting in my car at a…

“Sometimes when I’m sitting in my car at a stop light, I imagine myself as
Luke Skywalker, and I close my eyes and concentrate on using The Force.
Sometimes I have to concentrate longer than others, but I know it works,
’cause the light always turns green.”

– Troy Peterson

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