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Archive for the ‘poems’ Category

Bless

Dear Heavenly father full of grace
Bless my boy friend for his cute face
Bless his hair that always curls
Help keep his hands off other girls
Bless his hands so big and strong
Help keep them where they belong
Bless the thickness of his sperm
Bless his dick so big and firm
Bless his hand I love to clinch
Bless his tongue I love to french
Bless my breast he love to suck
Bless my pussy he loves to fuck
Bless the man I love to marry
Bless his child I love to carry
And if my mom shall walk in
Bless our lives soon to end
And if you hear this bless of mine
May it blow your fucking mind.
Amen

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Dumped

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Garbage is dumped,
And so are you!

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What Is Love

Love is a sensation caused by temptation.
When a man sticks his inspiration
into a girl’s combination,
to increase the population
of a younger generaration.
Do you get my conversation,
or do you need a demonstration.

Eat me, Beat me, Bite me, Blow me,
Fuck me, Suck me, very slowly.
If you hate it, don’t make it hasty,
add the tongue and make it tasty.
I like your style, I like your class,
but most of all, I like your ass.

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Here I Sit Stroking…

Here I sit gently stroking thinking of all the pussy I could be poking.

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How Flat are you?

Roses are red
Violets are black
I hope your front
Isn’t as flat as your back!

Roses are red
Violets are gold
Why wear a bra
When there’s nothing to hold!

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I Start with a M

I start with a M
so does a male
there can be roads on me
you can get me in the mail
or there can be states on me
trust me I’m not a baseball cap
what am I, I’m a map!

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Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Everyone felt shitty
Even the mouse

With mom at the whore house
And dad smoking grass
I had just settled down
For a nice piece of ass

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter
Then up in the air I saw a big dick
I knew in a flash it must be St. Nick

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
I knew right away that the fat fucker fell
He filled the stockings with doobies and beer
And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer

He went up the chimney and blew a big fart
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight
“Piss on you all and have a hell of a night!”

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Nude Bus

There was a young lady from Bude
who rode on a bus in the nude,
when a man up the front, went
“Sniff, sniff, I smell cunt”,
just like that,
right out loud,
bloody rude!

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The Dr. Seuss Purity Test

Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?

Have you done it in a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?

Have you done it in the ass?
Have you done it, high on grass?

Have you done it in the car?
Have you simply gone too far?

Have you done it on the beach?
Have you done it with the teach?

Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?

Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?

Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than three?

Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?

Have you done it ‘tween the tits?
Have you done it wearing mitts?

Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?

Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?

Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with a sturgeon?

Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?

Have you done it on the stage?
Have you done it underage?

Have you done it with all your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?

Have you done it with your dog?
Have you done it on a log?

Have you done it under clamps?
Have you done it with the lamps?

Have you done it without style?
Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?

Have you done it on Mother’s couch?
Have you done it in your mouth?

Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?

Have you done it on live TV?
Have you done it whilst you pee?

Have you done it in the gym?
Have you done it on a whim?

Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?

Answer these and count your “no”s, pray this number never grows;
Fifty questions we asked thee, score times two is your Purity.

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Dicks and Stuff

There once was a guy from Alcatraz
his balls were made out off brass
instormy weather they cleaned together
and sparks flew out of his ass.

There once was a guy named Lou
he fell a sleep in his canoe
he dreamed of Venis and played with his penis
and woke up with a hand full off goo.

There once was a guy named Dave
he lived with a dead whore in a cave
she was missing a tit and smelled like shit
but think all of the money he saved.

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The Peak

Here I sit watching the tube,
But all I can think about is the girl w/ big boobs,
She came over and laid on my bed,
And what do you know? she gave me some head,
She pulled down my pants and marvled at the size,
So then I stuck it in-between her thighs,
Back and forth, up and down,
Thats when my gizz almost made her drown,
Louder and louder she began to shriek,
Thats when I knew she was hitting her peak,
After that we began to rest,
So I stuck my head in her breasts,
As I got up she began to say,
Lets do it again but this time my way!

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Tasty Poem

Roses are Red
Violets are Corny
When I think of you
Ooo, Baby I get Horny

Eat Me, Beat Me,
Bite Me, Suck Me,
Fuck Me, Blow Me,
Very slowly

If you Kiss me
Don’t be Hasty
Use your Tongue
And make it Tasty

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