Archive for the ‘asian’ Category

Chinese Proverbs

…Man who run in front of car get tired.
…Man who run behind car get exhausted.
…War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
…Man who tell one too many lightbulb jokes get burned out.
…Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
…Man who sit in tack get point.
…Man who lives in class house should change clothes in basement.

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Confucius Says

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat
in girl.

Man who jizz in cash register come into money.

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.

Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.

Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.

Baseball wrong–man with four balls cannot walk.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

Learn to masturbate–come in handy.

Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.

Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.

Virgin like balloon–one prick, all gone.

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Chinese naming system

How do Chinese parents decide on a name for their newborn?

Throw a quarter in the garbage disposal. Ching Chong Chin Chang

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Foreign Exchange Rates

A tourist from China was traveling to New York City for a two
week vacation. He went to the bank as soon as he arrived in
order to exchange his Chinese money for American money. He gave
the teller 1000 yuan, and the teller in turn gave him 150

A week went by, and the tourist had used up his money, so he
returned to the bank. He gave the teller another 1000 yuan, but
this time the teller only gave him 125 dollars. Seeing the
difference, the man angrily asked the teller in his broken
English why last week he received 150 dollars for the same
amount of money. The teller replied, “Fluctuations.”

Flustered, the tourist responded, “Well fluck choo crazy
Americans too!”

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(U gotta do a chinese accent for the chinese man.)

This chinese man asks this guy what he does for a living. The
guy says, ‘I’m a comedian.’ The Chinese guy says ‘No, u no,
Camedien!’. The guy says, ‘Yer, I am, honest.’ The Chinese guy
says, ‘No, you’re not, pwroove it, change colwor!’

(He says it like camelian)

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Bush and Bin Laden

Bush was in Afghanistan on a visit, talking to Osama Bin Laden.
Osama would ask Bush questions, and when Bush gave a response
Bin Laden didn’t like, he pressed a button, and a giant boxing
glove would hit Bush in the face.
When Osama came to America, he and Bush were talking. When Osama
said something Bush didn’t like, he pressed a button, and
nothing happened. Osama kept answering questions, and Bush kept
pressing the button, but nothing happened.
When the day was over Osama said “When we get to Afghanistan,
i’ll show you how we really do things.”
Then Bush responds with a smile on his face “What Afghanistan?”

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Osma Bin Laden

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel
when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel
and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel’s butt, just then a
guy comes over and says, “What are you doing?”

Osama replies, “About 2 miles back I heard someone say, ‘Hey,
look at the two assholes on that camel.”

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More Mis-Translations

The following are items found overseas in which people have made
inappropriate use of English words for various products, and
bizzare menu items in resturants.

Menu Items

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce – China
Indonesian Nazi Goreng – Hong Kong
Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos – Cairo
Prawn cock and tail – Cairo
Cock in wine/Lioness cutlet – Cairo
French fried ships – Cairo
Garlic Coffee – Europe
Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) – Europe
Boiled Frogfish – Europe
Sweat from the trolley – Europe
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream – China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse – Hong Kong
Roasted duck let loose – Poland
Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion – Poland
Fried freindship – Nepal
Strawberry crap – Japan
Pork with fresh garbage – Vietnam
Toes with butter and jam – Bali
Goose Barnacles – Spain
French Creeps – L.A.
Fried fishermen – Japan
Buttered saucepans and fried hormones – Japan
Teppan Yaki – Before Your Cooked Right Eyes – Japan
Pepelea’s Meat Balls – Romania

Product Names

Clean Finger Nail – Chinese tissues
Kolic – Japanese mineral water
Creap Creamy Powder – Japanese Coffee Creamer
Last Climax – Japanese tissues
Ass Glue – Chinese glues
Swine – Chinese chocolates
Libido – Chinese soda
Pocari Sweat – Japanese sport drink
Ban Cock – Indian cockroach repellent
Shocking – Japanese chewing gum
Homo sausage – East Asian fish sausage
Cat Wetty – Japanese moistened hand towels
Hornyphon – Austrian video recorder
Shitto – Ghanian pepper sauce
Pipi – Yugoslavian orangeade
Polio – Czechoslovakian laudnry detergent
Crundy – Japanese gourmet candy
Superglans – Netherlands car wax
I’m Dripper – Japanese instant coffee
Zit – Greek soft drink
My Fanny – Japanese toilet paper

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