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Archive for the ‘blondes’ Category

Money

Q: There are four people in a room. Father Christmas, The Easter Bunny, a dumb blonde and a smart blonde. Also in the room there is a $100 note on a table. Who takes the money?

A: The dumb blonde. The rest dont exist!

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What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?

What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? Get’em on their back and their both fucked.

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Flowers

A blonde and brunette were walking down the road.

The brunette see’s her husband, and he is carrying flowers.

The brunette says to the blonde “now I’m going to half to spread my legs!”, and the blonde says “why? don’t you have a vase?”

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Dating

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?

A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

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You've Got Mail

One day a blonde named Susan came outside to check her mail. She opened the mailbox looked inside an started thumping her feet on the ground and screaming! The next door neighboor watched her. In a few hours, Susan came outside to check her mail again, when she looked inside she started screaming again. The neighboor watched her. The next day, Susan once again started a fit when she checked her mailbox. The next-door neighboor came up to Susan and asked.”Why do you start a fit every time you check your mailbox?” “Who ever said computers were smart? I was working on my computer, and it said ‘You’ve got mail!'”

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Airline

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It’s a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.

The steward who checks tickets says, “I’m so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class.”

“I can do What-eva I want, I’m a blonde.” Well I’ll get the pilot.

The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says,” What did you say?”

The pilot simply says,” I told her 1st class wasn’t going to Miami, just coach was!!!”

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Blonde and lawyer quizz

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $50!” figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?” The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer!?”
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

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They think their picture is being taken.

A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
Q. They think their picture is being taken.

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Tampons

Q: Why do blondes wear tampons with long strings?
A: So the crabs can go bungee jumping!

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Blonde at the Appliance Store

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like
to buy this TV,” she told the salesman. “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he
replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the
salesman “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he
replied. “Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit,
big sunglasses, and then waited a few days before she again approached the
salesman. “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he
replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?” “Because
that’s a microwave,” he replied.

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Doctor, Doctor

One day this Blonde walked into her doctors office.

“Doctor, Doctor I’m having these awlful pains in my back.”
“Well let me take a look.”

When the doctor looked he had a look of suprise on his face.
“This is amazing.”
What is is doctor?”
“I didn’t know that the new Toyotas had ribbed leather rear seating!”

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Blondes r thick?!

Santa, a dumb blonde and a smart blonde ran a race. Who won?

Santa flys, not runs, there aren’t any smart blondes, so the dumb blonde it must be!

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