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Archive for the ‘latinos’ Category

Richest Person

How do you find the population of Mexico City?

Roll a quarter down the street.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico City?

Find out who got the quarter.

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Why Didn’t You Eat Him?

Three men are stuck on an island.

The first man, who is white, tries to swim for help. He is eaten
by sharks.

The second man, who is black, tries and is eaten too.

The third man, who is Mexican, swims all the way to land.

One shark asks the other, “Why didn’t you eat him?” The other
shark says, “Mexican food gives me gas.”

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A Russian, Mexican, and Texan

A Russian, a Mexican, and Texan are out riding horses.

The Russian pulls out an expensive bottle of Vodka, takes a long
draught, then another and suddenly throws it into the air, pulls
out his gun and shoots the bottle in midair.

The Mexican looks at him and says, “What are you doing? That was
a perfectly good bottle of Vodka!”

The Russian says, “In Russia, there is plenty of Vodka and the
bottles are cheap.”

A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the Mexican pulls out
a bottle of Tequila, takes a few sips, throws the Tequila into
the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it in midair.

The Texan can’t believe his eyes, “What the hell did you do that
for? That was a perfectly good bottle of Tequila!”

The Mexican says, “In Mexico, we have plenty of Tequila and
bottles are cheap.”

So, awhile later, the Texan pulls out a bottle of Beer. He opens
it, takes a sip, and then chugs the whole bottle. He then puts
the bottle in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, and shoots the
Mexican.

The Russian, shocked, says, “Why the hell did you do that?!”

The Texan replies, “In Texas, we have plenty of Mexicans and the
bottles are worth a nickel.”

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Dominican Funeral

An old couple in Santo Domingo was puzzled when the coffin
of their dead relative arrived from the USA. The corpse was
so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that her face was
practically touching the glass cover. When they opened the
coffin, they found a letter pinned to her chest, which
read:

Dearest Papi & Mami:

I am sending you Tia Juana’s remains for the funeral in the
Santo Domingo Cemetery.

Sorry I couldn’t come along as the expenses were too high.
You will find inside the coffin, under Tia’s body, 12 cans
of Bumble Bee Tuna, 12 bottles of Paul Mitchell Shampoo and
12 bottles Paul Mitchell Conditioner, 12 Vaseline Intensive
Care Skin Lotion, 12 Colgate Toothpaste and 12 cans of
Spam. Just divide it among the family.

On Tia’s feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks (size 8) for
Joseito. There are four pairs of Reeboks under her head for
Antonio’s sons. Tia is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts –
one is for Roberto and the rest are for his sons.

Tia is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bras (my favorite),
just divide it among the ladies. The 2 dozen Victoria’s
Secret panties that she is wearing should be distributed
among my nieces and cousins. Tia is also wearing eight
Docker pants, please keep one for yourself and the rest are
for the boys.

The Swiss watch you asked for is on Tia Juana’s left wrist
and she is also wearing what you asked for Mami (earrings,
ring and necklace) just please get them before anyone
arrives to view the body. Also, the six pairs of Chanel
stockings that she is wearing must be divided among the
teen-age girls there. I hope the colors are to their
liking.

Your loving daughter,
Josefinita

P.S. Please find Tia a dress for her funeral.

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Funny Joke

*When a bunch of white guys run down a hallway, it’s called an
avalanche
*When a bunch of black guys run down a hallway, it’s called a
mudslide.
*When a bunch of mexicans run down a hallway it is called a
jailbreak.

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Olympics

Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympics team?

Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in America!

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three guyz on a building

a russian,a mexican,and an american are on the roof of a
building the russian takes a drink of his vodka and throws it
off, the mexican asks why he did that he said theres too much of
that in our country. the mexican takes a drink of his taquila
and throws it over the building.the american asks why he did
that he said theres too much of that in our country. the
american takes a drink of his budweiser and walks over to the
mexican and throws him of the building.the russian asks why he
did that he said theres too much of them in our contry.

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Cuban National Anthem

What is the Cuban national anthem?

Row row row your boat.

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Mexican Population

How do you count the Mexican population???

Roll a penny down the street!

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Mule’s Balls

An American couple on vacation with some friends in Mexico were
shopping at the market to bring back a few souvenirs to their
family and friends. The time passed and the couple realize that
neither of them were wearing watches. They noticed this Mexican
man laying down taking a siesta next to this mule that had the
largest set of mule nuts they had ever seen.

Trying not to stare at the huge mule nuts they asked the Mexican
man, “Excuse us could you tell us what time it is?”

The Mexican man reaches his hand out under the enormous set of
nuts lifting them high and says, “It’s 3 o’clock.”

Amazed by this the American couple go off to find their friends
and tell them the amazing story. This Mexican man over there can
tell time by lifting his mules balls! Curious and amazed by this
the friends want to see first hand so they go back and ask him
what time it was.

Sure enough the Mexican man reaches out again cups his hands
under the mules nuts lifts them up as if to weigh them and says,
“It is 3:15.” Their friends check the time on their watches and
sure enough the little man was correct.

Blown away by this finally the American couple ask, “It is just
amazing how do you do that?”

“Do what?” the Mexican asks.

“Tell the time by lifting your mule’s balls!”

“Ah,” Says the Mexican, “I just need to lift his balls so I can
see that big clock across the street.”

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Cowboy, Indian, and Mexican

There are three men around a fire, a cowboy a mexican and an
Indian. The Indian stands up and says, “We were once many but
now we are few.” The Mexican stands up and says, “We were once
few and now we are many.” Then the cowboy stands and says,
“That’s because we haven’t played cowboys and Mexicans yet.”

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Jose

What did the Mexican fireman name his twin sons?

Jose and Hose B

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