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Archive for March, 2015

Pray to God to Get out of Toilet

Once a priest had to go to the bathroom really bad. In the old
times the toilets were nothing but deep holes dug in the ground.
The priest squatted down to use the toilet and slipped.

He would’ve fallen in and drowned in the pit but he used his
arms to keep him from falling the rest of the way. He decided to
pray to God to help him out of the situation because he didn’t
have enough strength to get out himself…so, he put his hands
together and prayed….

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The New York state bird

The New York state bird should be the mosquito.

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Blonde in Desert

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in a desert. The redhead brings a water bottle. the others said “Why did you bring that? in case I get thirsty.” The brunette brings food. The others ask,”Why did you bring that? in case I get hungrey.” Now, the blonde brought a car door. They asked “Why did you bring that?” The blonde replied” so if I get hot I can role down the window.”

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Clinton one-liner

Which is worse, a Vice-President who can’t spell or a President who can’t add?

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How do you spell Canada?

How do you spell Canada?
*C-EH N-EH D-EH.

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Knock KnockWho’s there?Isaac!Isaac who?Isaac coming

Knock KnockWho’s there?Isaac!Isaac who?Isaac coming out?

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Bronco

Q: What do the L.A.P.D. and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A: Neither could catch a Bronco!

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Football

Why are Englishmen better lovers than Frenchmen? They can stay on top for 89 minutes and still loose!

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Tennis players have fuzzy balls….

Tennis players have fuzzy balls.

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Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:…

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

English well talking.

Here speeching American.

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Van dos sacerdotes caminando por

Van dos sacerdotes caminando por la calle y en sentido contrario viene una bella mujer que se est� pudriendo de lo buenota que est�. De pronto sopla el viento, le levanta la falda y se le ven unos carnosos muslos y una cadera suculenta.

“Padre, �usted no es sensible a estas situaciones?” dice uno de los sacerdotes.

“�Hermano, si la sotana fuera de hierro usted hubiese quedado sordo del campanazo!”

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En un bar hay un

En un bar hay un borracho que llora y llora como un beb�… Un buen hombre se le acerca y trata de charlar con �l para consolarlo:

“�Qu� le pasa buen hombre, por qu� est� tan angustiado?”

“Es que hace un par de horas le vend� mi esposa a un tipo por una botella de whisky…”

“Comprendo, debe ser terrible, ahora que ella no est� viene el arrepentimiento y la querr�a volver a tener a su lado.”

“�Totalmente correcto, as� es, sin ninguna duda, as� es!”

“Y ahora que se fue se da cuenta de lo mucho que la amaba, y…”

“�No, no, no! Desear�a volver a tenerla porque ya me hace falta otra botella.”

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