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Archive for June, 2017

Yo mama poor

yo mama so poor I sat on a penny and she told me get of my paycheck

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Be Bolder

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on the beach.

The marriage counselor told him, “If you wish to save your marriage, you’d better be a little boulder.”

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Rooster and Chicken

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: He was stapled to the chicken!

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Tongue

What do you call a lesbian with a long tongue?
-Well Hung

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Different Answer

“Excuse me, could you tell me the time?” asked the blonde of a man on the street corner.
“Sure….it’s three fifteen,”he replied with a smile.
“Thanks,” she said, a puzzled look crossing her face.”You know, it’s the weirdest thing-I’ve been asking that question all day long, and each time I get a different answer.”

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yo mamma so fat

yo mamma so fat her stretch marks spell her name

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Physic Parrot

Three women walk in a pet shop.

Suddenly the parrot yells out, “Yellow, pink, blue.”

The first lady says, “That’s funny, I�m wearing yellow underwear.”

The second lady says “well I’m wearing pink.”

The third lady says “No way, I’m wearing blue.”

To test the parrot, the next day, all of them wore white and the parrot shouted, “white ! white ! white!”

The three women are amazed.

The final test was the third day, just as they walk in the parrot yelled “Bald, curly and straight!”

They never went there again!!

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Wrinkles

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time
to look for it.

For example, I am sitting here thinking how
nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

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Medical Miracles

An Israeli doctor says, “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

A German doctor says, “That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

A Russian doctor says, “In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”

The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says, “You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House for four years, and now half the country is looking for work.”

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Yo mama so fat…

Yo mama so fat when she goes swimming with a black suit on the whales start singing, “WE ARE FAMILY… EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE FATTER THAN ME”

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Question and answer Clinton joke

Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House?A: There is White-out on the screen.

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My Aunt

Joe says to Bill, “Want to see a picture of my Aunt?”
Bill said, “Sure.”
So Joe takes out a picture.

Bill says, “What are you talking about?
Thats not your aunt!
Thats a picture of a fish!”

Joe says, “Well sure it is… It’s my aunt Chovy!”

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