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Archive for November, 2017

Here I Sit Stroking…

Here I sit gently stroking thinking of all the pussy I could be poking.

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How Macho Are You

Q: What’s the definition of a really macho woman?A: She jump starts her vibrator.Q: What’s the definition of a really macho man?A: He puts on a condom with a tire iron.

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What’s the difference between government bonds…

What’s the difference between government bonds and men?

Bonds mature.

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scope

A guy needed a new scope for his shotgun so he went to a shop
and asked the guy if he could buy a scope
the guy said yes we sell them so then the guy said this is the
best scope he said you could see my house from
here and the guy said why is there a naked man and woman running
around your house the clerk said let me
take a look and he gave the guy two bullets and said i want you
to shoot off the guys dick and my wifes
head so then the guy looked through the scope and said i think i
can do that in one shot

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That Must have Hurt!

Two five year old boys are standing at the potty to pee. One says, “Your thing doesn’t have any skin on it!”

“I’ve been circumcised.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means they cut the skin off the end.”

“How old were you when it was cut off?”

“My mom said I was two days old.”

“Did it hurt?”

“You bet it hurt, I didn’t walk for a year!”

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There are two things I

There are two things I just can’t stand, racial prejudice and Negroes.

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Rocket Scientists

Q: How many roket scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?A: If they’re smart enough, they’ll figure out how to size their number down to nine.

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Flat Tire

A rich lady is riding along with her chauffeur when they get a flat tire. He gets out and starts trying to pry off the hubcap. After he struggles a few minutes, she looks out at him and says, ‘You wanna screwdriver?’He says, “Hell, We might as well. I can’t get this freaking hubcap off.”

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Yo mama so ugly…

Yo mama so ugly.Yo own daddy wont even look at her.

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Show off:

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

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Una mujer que se encuentra

Una mujer que se encuentra en la cama con su amante, advierte que su esposo est� llegando y r�pidamente mete al gal�n bajo la cama.

“Hola, amor ya llegu�”, saluda el marido.

“Estoy cansada. Vamos a dormir”, dice la mujer, coloc�ndose en la parte de la cama que tiene un agujero en el colch�n.

Aprovechando el orificio, el amante mete el miembro hasta acerc�rselo a la mujer.

“�Ah, ah!”, grita la mujer excitada.

“�Qu� pasa, amor?”, pregunta intrigado el consorte.

“Nada, es el fr�o”.

Despu�s de unos minutos, nuevamente la mujer grita:

“�Ah, ah!”

“�Qu� pasa, amor?”, pregunta nuevamente el marido.

“Nada, es el fr�o”.

“Creo que mejor me cambio a tu lado, amor”, sugiere el tipo.

El amante, sin saber nada de lo ocurrido, repite la acci�n.

“Ah, ah, este fr�o si que parte el culo!”, grita el esposo.

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Women!

From 15 to 20, women are like Africa – Part virgin and part explored.

From 21 to 35, women are like Asia- Hot and exotic.

From 35 to 45, they are like the United States – Fully explored and free with their resources.

From 45 to 55, they are like Europe – Exhausted, but still interesting in places.

From 55 on, they are like Australia – Everybody knows it’s down there , but nobody cares very much.

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis

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