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Things a Perfect Woman Would Say

1. I’ll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.

2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?

3. I’m bored. Let’s shave my pussy!

4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a
few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome!

5. God..if I don’t get to blow you soon, I swear I’m gonna bust!

6. I know it’s a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?

7. You’re so sexy when you’re hungover.

8. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

9. Let’s subscribe to Hustler.

10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

11. Say, let’s go down to the mall so you can check out women’s asses.

12. I’ll be out painting the house.

13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday’s, I just wish you had time to
play on Saturday too.

14. Honey..our new neighbor’s daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

15. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

16. No, No, I’ll take the car to have the oil changed.

17. Your mother did a great job raising you.

18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine’s day thing and buy
yourself new clubs.

19. I understand fully…our anniversary comes every year for Christ’s
sake. You go hunting with the guys, it’s a wonderful stress reliever.

20.Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies?

21. Christ, not the fucking mall again, come on let’s go to that new strip
joint!

22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don’t you retire
and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.

23. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night
feedings.

24. That was a great fart! Do another one!

25. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for
ya…

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