The Top 14 Signs Your Invention Is a Failure

14> You ask your robot caddy for a sand wedge and it hands you a tuna on rye.

13> The taste tests went well, and “SARS BARS” rhymed and everything…

12> Even Ralph Kramden turned you down for financing.

11> Your “Windshield Vaseline,” while it does make the road look younger, has unfortunate side effects.

10> Your best remaining hope for commercialization: “Miller’s Genuine Cold Fusion Draft.”

9> It’s hard to unfold a chocolate umbrella.

8> Two years later, and there are *still* no Segway-only traffic lanes.

7> “Watson, come here; I’m bleeding!”

6> Public debate regarding gun control aside, there simply is no ready market for your “Salad Stunner.”

5> Despite the celebrity tie-in, your freezers are crammed with unsold “Gary Burghoff Frozen Gourmet Dinners.”

4> Your “Kiwi Karving Kit” continues to be badly outsold at Halloween by those damn pumpkin traditionalists.

3> By law, you must print “Patent Forcibly Declined” on your invention.

2> Your product’s catch phrase is: “Set it, read pages 11 through 26 in the owner’s manual, and forget it!”

1> In hindsight, labeling your item as “Small enough to fit inside a hollowed-out human head!” might not have been the best marketing decision.

[ The Top 5 List ]

[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]

Spread the love
Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.