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Muslim Jokes

Insulting Muslim Jokes

A Muslim woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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Pakistan launches a rocket onto Moon.

News on Pakistani news channel, “Water and fishes found on Moon”.

News on BBC,”Pakistani satellite found in Arabian Sea”.

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Arab scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the middle ages.

They’re calling it ‘Islam’.

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A news reporter goes to see a Jewish man who has been going to the western wall in Israel to pray once a day for 70 years, the reporter goes up to him and says, “hello I’m a reporter for the BBC and we know you’re quite famous around this wall so we were wondering if we could ask you a few questions.” The man agrees and she asks, “so we were wondering; what have you actually been praying for all of these years?”

The man replies, “I have been praying for peace between the Jews and Arabs and for all world hatred and terrorism to stop, and for my children and grandchildren to grown up in a peaceful world.”

The news reporter says, “Wow that’s truly beautiful, how do you feel after doing this for 70 years?”

The man replies, “I feel like I’ve been talking to a fucking brick wall.”

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A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

The guy behind the counter says, “Male or female?”

The customer says, “Female”

The counter guy asks, “Black or white?”

The customer says, “White”

The counter guy asks, “Christian or Muslim?”

The customer says, “What the hell does religion have to do with it?”

The counter guy says, “The Muslim one blows itself up!”

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Jesus and God are sitting in a room discussing an important issue. Somebody knocks on the door. Jesus opens and see’s Allah. Jesus turns to God and asks “Father, did you order a shawarma?”

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Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?

A. Bisexual.

Q. How do Muslims practice safe sex?

A. They mark the camels that kick.

Q. What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?

A. Nothing, yet.

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?

A. A pimp.

Q: What’s the difference between Dar al-islam and Dannon yogurt?

A: The yogurt has a living culture.

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A Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a
Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating fresh shrimp.

Every time he ate one, he spat the tail in her
direction, requiring her to deflect it.

He finished the box and threw it out the window.

Seeing this, she had enough, and pulled the Emergency Cord.

The Muslim looked at her and said, “You’ll get fined $250 for doing
that, you stupid, Infidel, worthless Catholic bitch.”

She laughed and said, “When I cry out rape and they
smell your fingers, you’ll get 10 years, you towel headed camel-fucker !

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