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Breathe

A teenager goes to a doctor for a checkup.

When she removes her blouse, he checks her breathing and says, ” Big breaths.”

She replies, “Yeth, and I’m only thickteen.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

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Unseen

Unseen when it comes, but visible when it goes.

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If knees were backwards, what

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If you lick the air, does it get wet?

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The grasshopper joke!

So this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says “Hey! Your a grasshopper! We have a drink named after you!”.

The grasshopper says “Oh yeah? You have a drink named Leonard?!”.

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Tu ama

tu ama

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Miscellaneous yo mama joke

It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat!

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Good, Bad, Worse

Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other
Worse: And your wife.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The techer is a he.

Good: You go home for a quickie.
Bad: you get caught by your wife
Worse: You’re with her sister.

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Assembly of God

One day my nephew and I were driving back home a new route, when we passed by a church on the side of the road which had a sign out front that said, “The Assembly of God”My nephew turned to me and questioned, “I didn’t know god had to be put together?”– Submitted by Angela Tuttle

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New university

Have you heard about the university Michael Jackson is founding?

It’s called Bringem Young.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing

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Commonality In Sexes

What do men and women have in common?

They both distrust men.

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Giving Up Half

An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, “Oh oh !”
The man asked the doctor what the problem was.

“Well,” said the doc, “you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?”

“No”, replied the man.

“Do you drink in excess?

“No.” replied the man.

“Do you have a sex life?”

“Yes, I do!”

“Well,” said the doc, “I’m afraid with this heart murmur, you’ll have to give up half your sex life.”

Looking perplexed, the old man said, “Which half…the LOOKING or the THINKING?”

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Beer Machismo

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said “Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please.”The bartender gave him the drink.Then the Budweiser President orders, “The King Of Beers — Budweiser.”The bartender proceeds with the order.The Amstel President walks in and orders “The Finest Beer ever.”The bartender gives him an Amstel.Then the Guinness President says, “I’ll have a coke please.” The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.All the Presidents looked over at him and said, “Why have you ordered a coke?” He replied, “Well if you all aren’t drinking beer, then neither shall I.”

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