aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Advertisement
Ratings
Views
Advertisement

https://cse.google.com/cse?cx=partner-pub-5979279073729308:6322037307&q=amazon%20prime&oq=amazon%20prime&gs_l=partner-generic.12…3617.10500.0.12919.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0.gsnos%2Cn%3D13…0.6897j4960753j12..1ac.1.25.partner-generic..0.0.0.

 

Bad Neighbours

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?”

The lawyer replied, “Of course, how much was the roast?”

“$7.98.” said the butcher.

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98.
Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

New Boaters

It was around noon time when a redneck family decided to take
their brand new boat for a first time drive. They didn’t want to
go alone so they invited their neighbors. When the two couples
arrived at the lake they carefully put the boat in the water.
When they started to go they noticed the boat wouldn’t move and
it was making a loud roaring noise. No matter how much he pushed
up on the throttle the boat still would not move. After about an
hour of trying to figure out what was wrong the two couples
idled over to a near by lake marina where they were for sure
going to get help. They told them what was happening and asked
if they could help. The boat mechanic checked the trim, that
prop and all the instruments and nothing was wrong with them, so
he decided to jump in the water and look under the boat. Within
two seconds of him being under water he came up choking on water
because he was laughing so hard. They asked him what was wrong
and he said your boats still on the trailer.

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

13 Things To Do At Walmart

1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples’ carts
when they aren’t looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
“I think we have a code 3 in houseware,” and see what happens.

5. Put some M&M’s on lay away.

6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you’ll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
“Why won’t you people leave me alone.”

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror
while you pick your nose.

10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
‘Mission Impossible.’

11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

12. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through
whisper “PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!”

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the
fetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

How you kill a blonde

Q: How do you kill a blonde ?

A: Stick a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Blonde with a cellphone…oh-oh!

A young man wanted to get his beautiful “blonde” wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cellphone.

She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping.

Her phone rings and it’s her husband, “Hi hun,”he says “how do you like your new phone?”, she replies: “I just love, it’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there’s one thing I don’t understand though.”

“What’s that, baby?” asks the husband.

“How did you know I was at Wal Mart?”

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Sex with Bill Clinton?

How can you tell you’ve just had sex with Bill Clinton?
You’ve got French fries in your hair, and Vernon Jordan is handing you a job
application.

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

The 2nd affair

There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.

The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child.

“Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!” Then he gave her a stern look and asked, “Have you been fooling around on me?”

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, “Not this time”!

Submitted by Admin
Edited by Calamjo

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Mowing

How do you know a Brigham Young student’s been mowing the lawn?
The welcome mat is destroyed.

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Women?

1) Is it just me or do women always have to own ten thousand
shoes that they never use?

2) Is is just me, or when you ask a women what’s wrong, and she
says something like “fine” or “nothing” it really means “I’m
pissed off at you and you have about twenty minutes to guess,
take responsibility say sorry ten times or your cut off for two
weeks.”

3) Why do women have to look at everything when they go
shopping? And then get mad at us when we don’t wanna go?

4) Why can’t we plain old quick hot monkey sex with a women,
instead of “making love”

5) Why can’t women accept the fact that lesbians are cool!

6) Why can’t women accept that when an attractive women walks by
with a low cut top and huge breasts we have no control over
staring at them!

7) Why can’t women get over the fact that when ever they ask
“how do I look”, and we say fine, we always have to say yes!

8) Sports are the ultimate escape for us guys who are no good at
them, let us watch them in peace or don’t expect us to go to a
ballet or opera.

9) If the toilet seat is up, do the logical thing and put it
down!

10) Don’t expect guys to like your dad or ex-boyfriend

11) Realize that guys are no too bright, so when we say we’re
fine we probably are. If you wanna know what is going on in a
guy’s mind it’s either the Smurfs theme music or some useless
sports stuff.

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

1 stupid mama

yo mama is so stupid instead of locking her keys in the car she locked herself in and couldnt get out!

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Long run

Q: What does an economist do?

A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Clinton one-liner

Did you hear it took three secret service agents to hold Hillary’s hand down during the swearing-in ceremony?

Rate This Post :
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...
Advertisement
Advertisement