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Silly, but dirty, Indian joke

English settler: Excuse me Mr. Indian, what does that one feather mean?Indian 1: It means I screwed one women.English settler: Oh, you must be very loyal to your wife.Indian 1: No, I’m just unpopular. Go see that Indian over there. He’s popular.English settler: Excuse me Mr. Indian, what do those five feathers mean?Indian 2: It means I screwed five women.English settler: You must be popular.Indian 2: No I’m not. Go see him. He’s popular.English settler: Excuse me Mr. Indian, what do those ten feathers mean?Indian 3: It means I screwed ten women.English settler: You must be popular.Indian 3: No I’m not. Go see the chief. He’s popular.The English settler goes to see the chief. The chief is surrounded by feathers. He has so many feathers that the English settler couldnt even see him.English settler: Excuse me Mr. Chief, what do all those feathers mean?Chief: It means I screwed everyone in the entire tribe.English settler: Holy cow!Chief: Yes, cows too.English settler: But aren’t they hostile?Chief: Yep, horsestyle, pigstyle, and goatstyle. It’s the only way.English settler: Oh dear!Chief: No, not deer. Ass too high.

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The Top 13 Least Popular Candy Heart Sayings

13. STD FREE

12. UR A WEASEL

11. BE OURS

10. SOY BOMB

9. TONGUE ME

8. BE MY INTERN

7. LOVE?? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, “LOVE”? I SPEND 12 HOURS A DAY CARVING THESE STUPID SAYINGS ON THESE STUPID HEARTS AND YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT LOVE?!?

6. HAIRY CHEST

5. I STALK U

4. ASS FLAVORED!

3. GOT CRABS?

2. R THOSE REAL?

1. VIAGRA 100MG

[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com] Rate This Post :
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Chicago…

Chicago –30-year-old Emad Haddad was shot and killed Friday afternoon
after chasing two men who’d robbed his store-Sunburst Food and Liquors-on
Chi-Town’s bright and glamorous 79th Street.

According to cops, two gents toting semi-auto pistols robbed the store’s
registers. Witnesses say Emad The Genius (as he will be remembered) ran
after the men with a two-shot derringer and took a shot at ’em.
They returned the favor with a hail of bullets.
Haddad was struck in the head and died on the spot.

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Knock KnockWho’s there?Rena!Rena who?Rena this

Knock KnockWho’s there?Rena!Rena who?Rena this bell doesn’t do any good!

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Girl Carpenter

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One
day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on
the empty lot.

The young family’s 6 year old daughter naturally took an
interest in all the activity going on next door and started
talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the construction crew – gems in
the rough all of them – more or less adopted her as a kind of
project
mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had
coffee and lunch breaks,and gave her little jobs to do here and
there to make her
feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a
pay envelope containing a dollar.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the
appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the
dollar pay she had
received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed
with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her
very own pay
check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, “I’ve been working with a
crew building a house all week”.

“My goodness gracious”, said the teller, “and will you be
working on the house again this week too?”

“I will if those useless cocksuckers at the lumber yard ever
bring us the fucking bricks”, replied the little girl.

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Question and answer blonde joke

Q: How do you get rid of blondes?A: Form a circle, give each blonde a gun, and tell them they are a firing squad.

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Horny Nurses!

3 nurses go into the morgue, and there’s a dead man’s body lying there, with an erection.

The first nurse sees it, and says “I’m gagging for it”, gets atop the man and has her way with it.

The second nurse says “Aye, so am I, shame to let it go to waste”, and she does the same.

They turn to the 3rd nurse and ask her if she is having a go. She replies she is having her period, and declines. One of the nurses reply “He’s dead anyway, he’ll no bother”. The last nurse agrees with this, gets on and does her thing too.

Just after she finishes, the dead man sits up. The nurses ask him “We thought you were dead!”, and the man replies,

“After two jump starts and a blood transfusion, you wouldn’t be dead either!”.

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It’s not true that oysters

It’s not true that oysters make good aphrodisiacs. I tried a dozen once and
only six of them worked!

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Q: How many members of

Q: How many members of the P.L.O. does it take to change a light bulb?A: 45 – One to drive the car, four to shoot the president of Sylvania’s bodyguards, three to kidnap the president of Sylvania, five to think up the ransom demands, ten to paste up the ransom note, eight to cut little eye-holes in the cloth sacks, one to drive a truck with 2000 kilos of dynamite into the American embassy, one to claim responsibility for the bombing, and twelve to commandeer a building with working lights.

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Top 10 Signs The President Is Angry

10) Latest radio address to the nation ended with the phrase “You can all bite
me.”

9) Giving people on the White House tour the finger.

8) Punched the side of Al Gore’s head so hard he broke his hand.

7) Threw half-eaten Big Mac from South Portico, beaning a Marine Band
clarinetist.

6) At recent Rose Garden ceremony, has Secret Service rough up some Spelling
Bee champions.

5) Blurted out to Roger, “Isn’t it time you got, like, a job?”

4) When pizza was late, beat delivery boy senseless with a Yoo-Hoo bottle.

3) Feverishly adds names to long list of guys he’s going to slug the minute he
becomes a private citizen.

2) Actually talked back to Hillary.

1) Every five minutes, he’s threatening to bomb Mexico.

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WE CANT BELIVE ITS NOT BUTTER?

WHATS THE GREATEST PHRASE TO SAY TO YOUR BRO
WHEN WALKING BY A BUSSTATIONSKANK ?

“BUTTER BITCHES”
EVERYTHING BUTTER FACE
LOOKS GOOD !!

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Nixon & Clinton

What does Nixon have in common with Clinton?
Tricky Dick.

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